I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
