shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
