Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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