yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
