No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
