I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
