it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
