you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize