I think im going to throw up on grandma
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
