I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
