super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
