The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
