a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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