Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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