drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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