i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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