God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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