He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
