He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
