i love accidental penises.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
