Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
