Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
