who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
