I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
