Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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