its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
