There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize