i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
