I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
