i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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