were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
