you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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