The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
