she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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