I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
