We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
