bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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