i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize