I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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