even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
vagina is talking i cant
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize