Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
