Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
