Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So squirting runs in the family.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's shark week go big or go home
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
