We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
