I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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