i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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