I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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