There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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