So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
