is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
