I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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