In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
