i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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