I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize