I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
