I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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