The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize