I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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