It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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