He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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