just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
