yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize