like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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