Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
