I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize