Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
