before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
